| oh man. |
[Oct. 12th, 2007|05:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
life is too crazy sometimes.
and too crazy, only.
100 |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2007|01:35 pm] |
CATCH UP:
lost a friend.
gained a better one.
lost some drugs,
happier with the outcome.
lost my job,
but thats okay.
god my GED,
very proud of myself.
Cleaning up is always better.
18 in like 47 days.
Hella pummpped,
tattoo time ;] |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2007|01:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
You're not sorry, Your just everything everyone said you were. A prick. I hope you do loose yourself, and everything you have, You dont deserve anything, I'm going to learn from this, Your just going to look for a new victem. Fucking asshole, Get over yourself, Your not that great. And as for getting cought up with where your going, you should have thought about that before we fucked. Your just one of those typical fuck ass guys, I regret thinking you were any diffrent. With your smooth talk, and your big ego. Just another notch on my belt. I wish I dident even have to say that. because you were honestly nothing more. I hate it when I feel like ive connected with someone, and they go and fuck me over.
He says im cute He says im funny.
I know I know. I want to know what else.
He says hes too busy,
I say its not fair.
He says He's going to move on,
I say I should have listen to my friends.
He calls me pathetic.
And I relize, thats what I am.
Pathetic.
I'm feeling rather accomplished with the other sex.
I'm feeling like I dont need a boy to be happy anymore.
When all they do is cause me to be upset.
I'll be here. |
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| l i f e |
[Apr. 13th, 2007|12:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | artistic | ] |
i got a new job.
i got some new friends.
life is improving in the smallest ways possible.
but im loving every moment of it.
as for family issues.
id rather not, its suffocating me.
im moving out soon.
im happy.
i made new stencils & stickers for tagging
thats about it.
 |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2007|06:08 pm] |
But after all is said and done
i think i am improving.
i think i am learning
i know i am growing up
i am 18 in July
i need to get my shit together
i just need to find that positive influence.
i know im still young, but i am reaching my peek with everything i have been doing lately.
i want a love.
its summer soon.
i need a love ;[ |
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| The Microphones |
[Feb. 7th, 2007|01:19 pm] |
I refuse to be upset anymore.
I refuse to complain anymore.
I refuse to think about the worst.
I want the easy way out!
I want the easy way out!
I need the easy way out!
Fuck this pain, And fuck the people who think it's okay to treat you like dirt.
And all the hate and all the hell that history has relased so far, needs to get better.
NOW. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 31st, 2007|11:26 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Living room. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tegan & Sara | ] |
Sometimes I just don't understand.
I'm tired of just throwing my life at people,
I'm tired of all these things throw at me,
I'm tired of trying to impress everyone,
I'm tired of trying to get to that level,
I'm tired of wasting so much time on worthless things,
I'm tired of breathing, fighting, living.
I'm tired of faking my smile.
And I am most certainly tired of lifes stupid in-counters with lust.
It's typical of me, I'll never be the same me. I miss the summer long ago, So long ago.
I'm happy I am learning.
I'm happy I am making mistakes.
I'm happy I am slowly but surely killing myself.
I'm happy I am talking.
I'm happy I am me.
I'm happy I am cleaning up.
Somethings push me too far sometimes.
Somethings push me too far, too many limits and restrictions.
Somethings, sometimes, People, Things just don't understand.
I babble on and on.
& I don't even understand myself anymore.
I'm am tired of setting myself up for destruction with people.
I'm thirsting for something, anything.
I feel like I try too hard.
Sorry Iv'e failed you, them. Everyone.
Where's my hero, I think he's died.
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| you were trying to kill me with 100 knives. |
[Jan. 21st, 2007|09:34 am] |
Update:
No job
No happienesssss.
No nothing
APPPUFT.
Well, Iv'e been up since yesterday night at 10:00 pm.
And my dad left for one of his AA meetings.
Little brothers in Yakima for the weekend,
Mom's in seattle for the weekend.
Home alone, Peaceful. I feel like I can think!
I wish some certain someone was here to make it a bit more enjoyable. :sigh:
I miss waking up every summer day and seeing the boy I loved so much just jump on my bed to wake me up.
I miss walking my dog at random times, just to run out of my house to see the boy I loved so much.
I miss staying out all night just hanging out with the boy I loved so much.
I miss his music he made, and the stupid ways I made a fuss about it. To the boy I loved so much.
I miss going threw fast food drive thru's and him being a total need. Of the boy I loved so much.
I miss "accidently" falling asleep at his house. Of the boy I loved so much.
I miss coloring him pictures, & his cat snuggles.
But now that I look back on all this and that.
My hearts still on fire, My eyes are still too tired.
Don't take my love lightly.
I want happiness, so bad.Well, Iv'e been up since yesterday night at 10:00 pm.
And my dad left for one of his AA meetings.
Little brothers in Yakima for the weekend,
Mom's in seattle for the weekend.
Home alone, Peaceful. I feel like I can think!
But now that I look back on all this and that.
My hearts still on fire, My eyes are still too tired.
Don't take my love lightly.
I want happiness, so bad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2006|04:09 pm] |
Hey it's been a while
I got a new job: Nine West.
I got a new piercing: Septum.
I got a new boyfriend: SIKE.
:(
If I loved you, You woulden't miss me.
So just shut up, & kiss me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2006|01:57 pm] |
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22)
You're riding a rush of emotions now, but you may be uncertain about your destination. On one hand, you are ready to declare your love and act on it. On the other hand, you may play your cards much closer to your vest and first determine how others feel prior to showing your heart. Either way, your feelings are strong and can prompt you to act more emphatically than necessary
I hate how these are allways right.
I work today :( |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 12th, 2006|04:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
I am so fucked up.
I don't eat,
I don't sleep,
I don't listen,
I never comehome,
I'm heart broken,
I'm driving my self fucking insane.
I can't handle what's on my fucking plate right now.
Everything is so fucking out of place.
I have nothing woth living for anymore.
I'm hopeless.
I'm a bottomless pit, of nothing.
You can't settle with me, and I'm fucking worthless.
My mom moved out,
I'm so fucking lost right now.
And it seems as if no one gives a flying fuck.
I hate little girls,
All these little fucking bitches.
Fucking back stabbing whores.
Ugh, FUCK EM' |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 9th, 2006|02:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | apathetic | ] |
I feel:
Empty, lost, worried, & gone.
I want:
Happieness, love, life, & the most amazing person ever.
I can't spill my heart soul and guts out on livejournal.com
But I'm running away, So far away, I can't stay here.
I need to move in with amazing people
This house I live in is horribal,
Iv'e got my bags packed. |
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|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2006|11:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
I havent woken up so early in a long time.
So. I'm really bored. I want to cash my check too :(
And I have no way of doing that, Becauseee, I don't have
Washington State ID :( That really sucks.
So I really miss kel. I haven't seen her forever :(
But I fucking work today, Lameoo But I'll be making money,
So thats cool, But its almost not even worth it sometimes ya know.
Fucking 8.00 an hour? Reallly cool. My dog Hannah, She won't shut the fuck up, she keeps barking. Fucking hannah. I work from 3:00pm - 9:30pm Today. That sucks too. I Think They are gonna put me full time soon, thats what they were talkng about, but I'm not 18, So I don't know how I would do that. And my job is hella easy. Fuck man.
So easy. I need to take a shower for work soon :). But after work, I'm going to my friends new apartment. That should be cool/fun or something amazing like that. Yesterday I worked such a shitty shift, Fucking 10:00 am - 6:30 pm. That was so tiring. But like I said, Its hella easy. I'm so good at working the registure, I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm growing up! :) Becoming more resoponsible :] Yay me.
Wellll, I'm going to go shower for work, and try and cash my 120.00 check :) loves!
Lovelove,
Rachael
Rachael |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2006|09:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
I'm stupid. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 17th, 2006|04:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
Wow.
This morning really sucked.
I woke up late for work , but last night I had very good conversations with people. And I like that.
But!!
So I go to work.
And This boy comes and gives me a big bundle of flowers :)
But the story behind that is.
I went to Jack In The box, in smokey point because I was getting ready to take my drivers test and the DMV Is like right there. So I just got paid, and my little brother was hungrey. So, We go into Jack In the box, and I order a milkshake and a friut cup, And Dylan gets a cheeseeyburger.
Any way. My little brothers like talking shit to the manager and is all like, " RACHAELS PIMP, THIS BITCH JUST GOT PAID, SHES HELLA RICH," And other things like that, and It was really imbarrising, but any who, I go to get my order, and this boy is like giving me my order, and is like so graceful and kinda and such a sweetheart. And it was like I saw an angle. But so right when I get home I talk to my friend chelsey, and I tell her about this boy and she says she knows him. So I'm like oh shit, Does he have myspace. And shes like I dont know but I'll look, So she looks and finds his url and gives it to me, And I Add him, And I say, " Thanks for the milkshake." In a message, heheh. And he replys and I tell him where I work and blah blah, and we talk and all that.
And today at work
He brought me flowers :)
Is that like right out of a movie or what, I'm telling you, I was like wow.
That's the sweetest thing a boy has ever done for me.
I was so happy :)
eeeee
Lifes turning around, and I can feel it!
Lovelove,
Rachael. |
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|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2006|03:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
Ya so my sisters leaving tonight.
And I'm really upset about a lot of things.
Like, I was smoking a cig. And I was thinking to myself.
What am I doing?
I don't know what I'm doing with my life right now.
And I hate almost everyone I come in counterwith.
Everyone is a bunch of assholes.
I hate how people think its really cool to talk about me bad.
And Act like they like me to my face, then go talk shit.
It's immature, Id rather be hated for who I am, Then be loved for what I'm not.
All I know Is I want to finish highschool, carry on with my job and live my life the way I want to live it.
It's fucking stupid how people think they can controll me.
I won't be tied down.
I won't. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 9th, 2006|06:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
RELATIONSHIPS
1. single or taken?
taken
2. Do you have a crush on anyone?
my boyfrien.
3. Do they know?
yeah
4. Do you flirt a lot?
with my boyfriend?
6. Do cheaters deserve a 2nd chance?
hell no
7. Serious or Fun-loving?
it needs both!
8. Humor or Romance?
again, both
9. Dark or light hair?
any.
11. Do you kiss strangers?
do you fuck strangers?
12.Do you hug strangers?
why not.
13. How long was your longest relationship?
1yr.
14. Do you believe in kissing when you are not together yet?
Ha
15. Do you think about the opposite sex a lot?
yea, hella sexually.
16. Have you ever slept at a friend of the opposite sex's house?
ya
17. Do you tell your friends they are hot?
ya ya
18. Would you rather have a sweet, clever guy/girl or a wild, funny?
my boyfreinds [ALL] yeah
19. Have you ever liked someone who didn't like you back?
happens all the time
20. Do you feel comfortable with joking with your friends who are the opposite sex?
why not
21. Chocolates or flowers?
both
22. Have you ever been in the friends-with-benefits situation?
haha
23. Teddy Bear or Card?
Teddy bear & card + card II
24. Would it be sweet or annoying if someone of the opposite sex
I like it.
25. Ever felt like your boyfriend/girlfriend didn't like you?
ya
26. Ever been cheated on?
ya
27. Ever done the cheating?
no!
28. Ever cried over a boy?
ya
29. Ever kissed or hugged your girlfriend/boyfriend in front of a parent?
ya
30. Do you believe in miracles?
so do you?
31. Is it easy for you to get over people who were special to you?
no no no
32. Have you ever made a birthday wish or blew on a dandelion?
never! hah yeah
33. Have you ever had a broken heart?
i hope not! |
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